Some may know that I have always had a feeling that I would die young. What some may constitute as young, may not be the same for others. I am in no way psychic or have a specific reason for this feeling, I just simply know it is something I have felt for over 12 years.
After reading about Susan's death, it reawakened all those thoughts. They were never truly gone from my mind, just pushed back to the back, in hopes they would go away.
I have had this feeling for as long as I can remember. This feeling prevents me from giving 100% in life, mainly because it seems pointless to if it is all going to end "too soon." Why should I give my all for it to be taken away before I get to use it? Yes, some will say I should give 100% even if tomorrow was my last day alive. I just can't get that into my mind. I can sit and tell others how to live their lives, how to overcome things, but I can't ever shake this feeling. This feeling I have no reasoning for, no true knowledge about. No illness that could kill me, no family history of something. All I can give you is what is in my mind and soul; a feeling.
Again, going back to Susan. Her story, though I have not seen or talked to her since high school, seemed to hit very close to home. Maybe it was because she was recently married, maybe because we have the same bachelors degree or maybe it is something I don't even know about... either way, reading about it scared me, more than I thought. The thought of going through all of that, having my family go through all that is something I cannot stop thinking about. To leave my family at the age of 25, newly married and again, so young... I just can't get over that. Her story truly reminded me of this feeling I have had for so long. So, I write to tell others about this. To let them know that if I pass, you have all touched my heart and soul more than you could ever imagine. To all of you, I love you... and I hope this feeling is wrong. To the stars, I hope it is wrong.
xoxo- Kristen
Sunday, December 28, 2008
It's the perfect time to plant a winter garden!!!
During my Christmas party for work, my boss gave all of us a card that had the following written on it. Something that we should all follow no matter what the season:
3 Rows of Peas:
"Peas" of Mind
"Peas" of Heart
"Peas" of Soul
4 Rows of Squash:
"Squash" Gossip
"Squash" Grumblings
"Squash" Indifference
"Squash" Selfishness
4 Rows of Lettuce
"Lettuce" be Faithful
"Lettuce" be Kind
"Lettuce" be Patient
"Lettuce" Love One Another
Add Some Turnips:
"Turnip" for Meetings
"Turnip" for Service
"Turnip" to Help Others
And don't forget Thyme!
"Thyme" for Each Other
"Thyme" for Family
"Thyme" for Friends
Water freely with patience and cultivate with love.
There is much fruit in your garden because you reap what you sow.
3 Rows of Peas:
"
"
"
4 Rows of Squas
"
"
"
"
4 Rows of Lettu
"
"
"
"
Add Some Turni
"
"
"
And don'
"
"
"
Water
There
Wii
So, I have been wanting a Wii Fit for a while now. Something that will get me a little more active, even if it is a "video game." Well, my awesome parents got Brent and I a Wii for Christmas, along with the Fit and Guitar Hero World Tour! Needless to say, we are addicted now!
The Wii Fit is pretty nice, it has some great programs that get your heart pumping, the sweat dripping and tests your ability to balance. I have been doing it for no less than 30 minutes a day, and I have lost 1 pound over the past 3 days! That might not seem like much, but it means something to me!
Now, for the Guitar Hero part... yeah, we are very addicted to it! I went out and bought a second guitar for it, so Brent and I could play at the same time. We battled last night as well as played in a "band" for about 3 hours! Yes, we stayed in last night. It was truly awesome to just not have to do anything, veg out, relax and watch Brent kick butt in playing Guitar Hero! Someone told me that if you are good at playing a real guitar, you suck at guitar hero. That game me hope that I would be good at this. Long story short: Brent rocks, I do not! But, we have fun... We even got into it last night, letting our inner rockers come out! Brent had me laughing so hard, I started crying which in turn caused me to get boo'd off the stage for missing so many notes... I blame him!
Well, that is all for now. I will keep you updated on our band and my "training." :)
The Wii Fit is pretty nice, it has some great programs that get your heart pumping, the sweat dripping and tests your ability to balance. I have been doing it for no less than 30 minutes a day, and I have lost 1 pound over the past 3 days! That might not seem like much, but it means something to me!
Now, for the Guitar Hero part... yeah, we are very addicted to it! I went out and bought a second guitar for it, so Brent and I could play at the same time. We battled last night as well as played in a "band" for about 3 hours! Yes, we stayed in last night. It was truly awesome to just not have to do anything, veg out, relax and watch Brent kick butt in playing Guitar Hero! Someone told me that if you are good at playing a real guitar, you suck at guitar hero. That game me hope that I would be good at this. Long story short: Brent rocks, I do not! But, we have fun... We even got into it last night, letting our inner rockers come out! Brent had me laughing so hard, I started crying which in turn caused me to get boo'd off the stage for missing so many notes... I blame him!
Well, that is all for now. I will keep you updated on our band and my "training." :)
School Update #1
As some might know, I am currently attending the University of Phoenix to obtain my master of arts in Special Education. I just finished up my first "semester." I say "semester" because the way my classes are set up, I take one class at a time for 6 weeks. As soon as I finish that class, I start a new class. It is basically back to back classes for 24 months straight. It is hard working full time AND going to school full time, but it will be worth it in the end.
The masters I am going for is cross categorical, meaning when I graduate I can teach in any age group; preschool to seniors in high school. Though I could teach any age group, I am hoping for the grades preschool to second grade. I currently provide early intervention services for children birth to three who have been diagnosed with a disability. I have been doing this for about two years and absolutely love it, but I miss seeing each child daily. The way my current career is set up, I see roughly 25 children a week, each for only an hour. I miss working with the same children on a daily basis like I did when I was an assistant director at a local preschool/day care.
School has been tough, and it has tested my ability to stay on target with work, school and life in general. It was a rough first few weeks, but I think I have the hang of it now. Or at least, I hope I do. I am on my winter "break" right now, but still working so I don't really call it a break. I return January 5th.
Below are some blog posts I made on my MySpace over the course of my first semester at UoP.
---- Sunday, September 21, 2008:
I am so excited for what the future has in store for me. If I am MIA, it is due to school. Just know I still love you all, and will try my hardest to remain in contact with you all. School is 1 right now. I need to keep my grades up and keep my 4.0 so that I can prove to the school districts that I am worth hiring in 2 years!
That is all. I am sure there will be more blogs about this and even a few "AHHH SCHOOL IS KICKING MY @*#" rants, but in the end, I am so glad I made this decision.
---- Monday, September 22, 2008
Title: 96.6%
Post: That is my grade for my first Masters class!!! I am so excited!! A little irritated that it was not the 98% I had before, but yay for groups who tend to not listen to advice on presentations, oh well. The one that ends today is just pass fail, so no excitement there.
YAY for School!
---- Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Title: First Observation for my Masters... plus an awesome interview!
Post: Some background.... I need 100 hours of observation hours before I graduate with my Masters in 2 years. The class I am currently taking, Orientation to the Exceptional Child, required that I visit a Preschool/Elementary School, Middle/High School AND a college special needs classroom.
Well, I was freaking out trying to get a hold of people for the High School observation. Well, a co-worker of my dad's is married to a woman who works at McClintock High School. I emailed her and she gave me a contact for the Special Education department. Well, I scheduled my visit for Monday October 20th from 9-10am.
I arrived around 8:45am and was given the classroom I was to observe. I was going to be observing a Reading 180 classroom and an Emotionally Disturbed (ED) classroom. The first class, Reading 180, was basically a language/lit class. One thing I noticed was about 90% of the students were either Hispanic or Native American. This seemed to prove that there are a lot of children out there that get diagnosed with a disability based on a language barrier.
So, after an hour in that class, I was walked to the class next door and introduced to that teacher. This was a history class for ED students. I was shocked to see Mike as the Student teacher. Mike is the husband of my friend Stasia. Well, this class was smaller in number. The students seemed to act out more and I was so impressed with how Mike handled them all.
After this visit I was somewhat torn. I want to work with younger children to try and mold them before "the damage is done." But seeing these High School students, it made me realize that this might be the last time for them to learn before entering into the real world. So, I think over the next 18 months, I have a lot to learn and then decide on which age group I would prefer to work on.
So, that was the end of my observation.
Tonight I also conducted my interview for another paper for this class. I was to interview someone who has a disability. Though I have talked to this person plenty of times, about their disability and other things. It was so awesome how this person takes their disability. I also realized tonight that the word "disability" seems to disabling, for a lack of a better word. As I learn more about people with these exceptionalities, I realize they always seem to find a way to make it work for them. I am honored to be friends with the person I talked to tonight.
Well, that is the latest update!
meep out!
---- Sunday, December 21, 2008
Title: Status: 1st Semester Completed
Post: Yup! I am officially done with my first semester of school. It has been hard getting back into the swing of things, but I have truly enjoyed it. I have learned a lot in such a short period of time, and cannot wait to see what I learn in the 18 months to come!
On that note, I have gotten all A's in my classes, but the one A- has brought me down to a 3.8. Which is a HELL of a lot better than what I got when getting my bachelors.
My next class is all about Special Education Methods.... and anything with "methods" or "theories" tends to kick my ass! One thing I am excited about is the observations needed for this current class. I get to observe the IEP process as well as write a case study on a hypothetical child created by my instructor! So cheers to keeping up and not going insane!
Thanks for listening
-------
WOW, until now.. I did not realize I was posting basically a month apart!
That is it for now!
xoxo- Kristen
The masters I am going for is cross categorical, meaning when I graduate I can teach in any age group; preschool to seniors in high school. Though I could teach any age group, I am hoping for the grades preschool to second grade. I currently provide early intervention services for children birth to three who have been diagnosed with a disability. I have been doing this for about two years and absolutely love it, but I miss seeing each child daily. The way my current career is set up, I see roughly 25 children a week, each for only an hour. I miss working with the same children on a daily basis like I did when I was an assistant director at a local preschool/day care.
School has been tough, and it has tested my ability to stay on target with work, school and life in general. It was a rough first few weeks, but I think I have the hang of it now. Or at least, I hope I do. I am on my winter "break" right now, but still working so I don't really call it a break. I return January 5th.
Below are some blog posts I made on my MySpace over the course of my first semester at UoP.
---- Sunday, September 21, 2008:
Title: And it officially begins...
Post: Well, I started my Masters program about 4 weeks ago... So far, so good. I get into my actual Special Education courses this coming Tuesday (September 23rd). I am excited. My first course is "Orientation to the Exceptional Child." I just downloaded all the readings for this six week course, and I was a little overwhelmed. It is A LOT! But as I was saving them to my computer to read throughout the weeks, the nerves became excitement. The articles I am to read seem so interesting to me. A lot of them cross into what I am doing now, which is so awesome. I will learn more about the IEP process. Right now I deal with IFSP which deals with much younger children's educational goals. I cannot wait to learn more about all the disabilities that are out there. I am so happy I decided to go with Special Education and not Early Childhood Education. Don't get me wrong, I love working with children birth to three years of age, but I cannot wait to get into the school system. I don't know why I didn't become a teacher in the first place. I have always been interested in special needs yet the concept of teaching these wonderful people never crossed my mind until about 6 months ago.I am so excited for what the future has in store for me. If I am MIA, it is due to school. Just know I still love you all, and will try my hardest to remain in contact with you all. School is 1 right now. I need to keep my grades up and keep my 4.0 so that I can prove to the school districts that I am worth hiring in 2 years!
That is all. I am sure there will be more blogs about this and even a few "AHHH SCHOOL IS KICKING MY @*#" rants, but in the end, I am so glad I made this decision.
---- Monday, September 22, 2008
Title: 96.6%
Post: That is my grade for my first Masters class!!! I am so excited!! A little irritated that it was not the 98% I had before, but yay for groups who tend to not listen to advice on presentations, oh well. The one that ends today is just pass fail, so no excitement there.
YAY for School!
---- Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Title: First Observation for my Masters... plus an awesome interview!
Post: Some background.... I need 100 hours of observation hours before I graduate with my Masters in 2 years. The class I am currently taking, Orientation to the Exceptional Child, required that I visit a Preschool/Elementary School, Middle/High School AND a college special needs classroom.
Well, I was freaking out trying to get a hold of people for the High School observation. Well, a co-worker of my dad's is married to a woman who works at McClintock High School. I emailed her and she gave me a contact for the Special Education department. Well, I scheduled my visit for Monday October 20th from 9-10am.
I arrived around 8:45am and was given the classroom I was to observe. I was going to be observing a Reading 180 classroom and an Emotionally Disturbed (ED) classroom. The first class, Reading 180, was basically a language/lit class. One thing I noticed was about 90% of the students were either Hispanic or Native American. This seemed to prove that there are a lot of children out there that get diagnosed with a disability based on a language barrier.
So, after an hour in that class, I was walked to the class next door and introduced to that teacher. This was a history class for ED students. I was shocked to see Mike as the Student teacher. Mike is the husband of my friend Stasia. Well, this class was smaller in number. The students seemed to act out more and I was so impressed with how Mike handled them all.
After this visit I was somewhat torn. I want to work with younger children to try and mold them before "the damage is done." But seeing these High School students, it made me realize that this might be the last time for them to learn before entering into the real world. So, I think over the next 18 months, I have a lot to learn and then decide on which age group I would prefer to work on.
So, that was the end of my observation.
Tonight I also conducted my interview for another paper for this class. I was to interview someone who has a disability. Though I have talked to this person plenty of times, about their disability and other things. It was so awesome how this person takes their disability. I also realized tonight that the word "disability" seems to disabling, for a lack of a better word. As I learn more about people with these exceptionalities, I realize they always seem to find a way to make it work for them. I am honored to be friends with the person I talked to tonight.
Well, that is the latest update!
meep out!
---- Sunday, December 21, 2008
Title: Status: 1st Semester Completed
Post: Yup! I am officially done with my first semester of school. It has been hard getting back into the swing of things, but I have truly enjoyed it. I have learned a lot in such a short period of time, and cannot wait to see what I learn in the 18 months to come!
On that note, I have gotten all A's in my classes, but the one A- has brought me down to a 3.8. Which is a HELL of a lot better than what I got when getting my bachelors.
My next class is all about Special Education Methods.... and anything with "methods" or "theories" tends to kick my ass! One thing I am excited about is the observations needed for this current class. I get to observe the IEP process as well as write a case study on a hypothetical child created by my instructor! So cheers to keeping up and not going insane!
Thanks for listening
-------
WOW, until now.. I did not realize I was posting basically a month apart!
That is it for now!
xoxo- Kristen
My Reason Behind the Creation of This Blog
I recently created/updated my Facebook account. On Facebook, I have been in touch with some friends I have not seen or talked to in years! Upon re-friending some of these people, I came across a few "new" friends who were part of the same group titled Remembering Susan. Upon clicking on this group, I went to a blog that Susan and her husband, Justin, had created. They started this blog back in June, in hopes to update people on their lives together. Justin and Susan were married this past January (2008). About a month after the creation of their blog, Susan was diagnosed with colon cancer. After reading her entire blog that Susan and her family kept up with, throughout her final months of life (Susan passed away December 7th, 2008), I realized the importance to talk about life, death and anything really. So, I created this blog.
Some may realize that URL has both our last names in it. For those who may not know, I will be getting married to my boyfriend of 5, almost 6, years, on Saturday October 10th, 2009. Though not everyone I speak to may be online and a blogger, this blog is created to keep people updated on our lives, probably mainly mine with Brent's thrown in every so often :).
So, that is it. My reason for creating this blog. A way to let the world know what is going on in my life and a way to help document the days that are so precious in life, because you never truly know when they will be taken away.
xoxo- Kristen
Some may realize that URL has both our last names in it. For those who may not know, I will be getting married to my boyfriend of 5, almost 6, years, on Saturday October 10th, 2009. Though not everyone I speak to may be online and a blogger, this blog is created to keep people updated on our lives, probably mainly mine with Brent's thrown in every so often :).
So, that is it. My reason for creating this blog. A way to let the world know what is going on in my life and a way to help document the days that are so precious in life, because you never truly know when they will be taken away.
xoxo- Kristen
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