A great book: Tuff Stuff: A Children’s Book about Trama by Joy Wilt

Life goes smoothly most of the time, but not all the time. Sometimes life gets pretty rough.

If people could choose just how their lives would be, everyone would probably want to be healthy, happy and safe all the time.
But no one has ever been healthy, happy, and safe all the time. Sometimes unpleasant things happen.
Everyone- no matter who he or she is, how old he or she is, what he or she has, or where he or she lives- has unpleasant experiences.
Sometimes these unpleasant experiences cause trauma.

Chapter 1: What Is Trauma?
Sometimes, when your body gets hurt, you feel terrible first… but soon you stop hurting.
Sometimes, when your feelings get hurt, you’re very unhappy at first… but soon you feel better.
But sometimes, the hurt doesn’t go away so easily.
You might feel angry, sad, lonely, and scared.
You might think nobody loves you anymore.
You might think something terrible is going to happen to you.
You might think you’re a bad person.
You might think you’ll never be happy again.
If something happens that hurts your feelings or body and makes you feel very bad for a long time, you’re probably going through trauma.
The things that cause trauma are called traumatic experiences. Why do people have traumatic experiences?
Sometimes, when people experience trauma, it’s their own fault. If you Break rules that are made for your good and the good of other people, or if you do something dangerous, you might have a traumatic experience.
But sometimes people have traumatic experiences through no fault of their own.
Many different kinds of experiences can cause trauma. The next chapter will tell you about some of the traumatic experiences that you may go through at some time or another.

Chapter 2: Traumatic Experiences That You Might Have
Nightmares The thoughts and pictures you have while you’re sleeping are called dreams.
If a dream is frightening, it is called a nightmare. Having a nightmare might make you go through trauma.
This is Elizabeth. Elizabeth used to have a lot of nightmares. Her nightmares made her feel… scared, trapped, weal and helpless.
Elizabeth’s nightmares made her wonder: What if I really did meet a monster? What would happen to me?
Elizabeth figured out that every time she watched a scary movie just before she went to bed, she had nightmares. So she doesn’t watch scary movies anymore. She also won’t listen to scary stories.
Before she goes to sleep, Elizabeth checks her room to make sure it’s safe. She locks the window so nothing can get in, and she leaves the door open so she doesn’t feel trapped.
She thinks about something pleasant that she would like to dream about.
Now Elizabeth hardly ever has nightmares.
Separation If you leave someone you care about… or if someone you are about leaves you, you might go through trauma.
This is Douglas. Douglas’s parents left him with his grandmother while they took a vacation. This made Douglas feel… angry, sad, left out, jealous, and lonely.
When Douglas’s parents left him, Douglas thought: Why can’t I go? Don’t they love me anymore?
While his parents were gone, Douglas kept busy doing things he enjoyed. He met some new friends.
When he missed his parents, he talked with his grandmother about how he felt.
He wrote letters to his parents, and they sent him picture postcards almost every day. He marked on a calendar the day they were coming home.
All these things helped Douglas to feel much better about being separated from his parents.
Moving If you move from one house to another… or of you change schools, churches, or clubs, you might go through trauma.
This is Grant. Grant’s father got a new job in a far away town, and Grant’s family had to move. This made Grant feel… angry, frustrated, sad, nervous, anxious and scared.
When Grant had to move, he thought: I Don’t want to move! All my friends are here. What if I can’t find any friends where we’re moving?
Grant’s mother showed him a map of the town where they were moving. He found out where their new house was, where he would be going to school, and where there were parks and playgrounds.
Grant packed his own clothes and toys.
His dad took a picture of all his friends standing together, and they gave Grant their addresses.
These things helped Grant to feel much better about moving.
Adding a new person to the family If somebody moves into your house… or if a new baby is born or adopted into your family, you might go through trauma.
This is Emily. Emily’s mother and stepfather had a baby boy, and Emily felt… jealous, threatened (afraid the baby might take her place), and left out.
After the new baby was born, Emily thought: They sure are crazy about little Erik. I bet they don’t even think about me anymore.
Emily decided to talk with her parents about how she felt.
Emily learned how to help take care of the baby.
She and her parents arranged special times to spend together without little Erik.
All these things helped Emily to feel much better about having a baby brother.
Divorce When a husband and wife decide they don’t want to be married anymore, they get a divorce… and stop living together. Divorce can make everyone in a family go through trauma.
This is Karen. Karen’s parents got a divorce. Karen felt… angry, rejected (unwanted), unloved, sad, and lonely.
After her parents’ divorce, Karen thought: Did I make my parents get a divorce? Doesn’t daddy love me anymore?
Karen wrote letters to her father.
Karen helped her father plan what they would do during the time they spent together.
Karen was glad her parents didn’t fight with each other any longer.
These things help Karen to feel better about her parent’s divorce.
Visit to the dentist, doctor, or hospital If you have to visit a dentist’s or doctor’s office… or go to the hospital, you might go through trauma.
This is Gerald. Gerald had to go to the hospital to have his tonsils taken out. This made Gerald feel… insecure (unsure of what was going to happen to him), scared, and worries.
Before Gerald went to the hospital, he thought: They’re going to cut me! Will it hurt? Will I die?
Gerald decided to find out everything he could about the hospital.
He read books and asked questions.
When Gerald went to the hospital, he took things he likes to do. He asked his parents to come see him as often as they could.
When his throat hurt, he talked to the nurse about how he felt.
All these things helped Gerald to feel much better about being in the hospital.
Injuries If you hurt yourself… or if someone else hurts you, you might go through trauma.
This is Jack. Jack broke his arm while he was playing football. When the accident happened, Jack’s arm hurt a lot, and he was scared.
Afterward, he felt angry and lonely.
Jack found out he could still do fun things, even though his arm was in a cast.
He was careful not to do anything that seemed too dangerous.
Jack’s friends offered to sign his cast and draw on it.
These things helped Jack to feel better about having a broken arm.
Disabilities A condition of the body that prevents a person from doing things most people can do is called a physical disability.
A condition of the mind that prevents a person from doing things most people can do is called a mental disability.
If you don’t understand disabilities, seeing disabled people can make you go through trauma.
This is Gwen, Gwen lives close to a school for disabled children. This makes Gwen feel… uncomfortable, curios, and judgmental.
Seeing a person who is disabled makes Gwen think: How did he get that way? Could I get like that?
Her new friend explained to her how they became disabled.
These things help Gwen to feel much better about disabilities.
Death When a person finds out that he or she is very sick and might not live very long, he or she goes through trauma.
When a person dies, his or her friends and relatives go through trauma.
This is Cindy. Cindy’s grandmother dies, and Cindy felt… sad, angry, scared, and lonely.
Cindy thought: Why did grandma have to die? Will I die the next time I get sick?
At first Cindy tried to pretend she didn’t care that her grandmother had died. But one night she cried very hard for a long time.
Cindy drew pictures of everything she remembered about her grandmother.
She thought about her happiest memories of her grandmother.
All these things helped Cindy to feel better about her grandmother’s death.

All of these experiences can cause trauma:
Nightmares
Separation
Moving
Adding a new person to the family
Divorce
Visiting the dentist, doctor or hospital
Injuries
Handicaps
Death
Some of these experiences might happen to you many times, while other may never happen to you.
Have you gone through any of these experiences?
If so, how did you feel?
What did you think?
What did you do?
Has anything else happened to you that caused you trauma?
How did you feel?
What did you think?
What did you do?
Traumatic experiences are always unpleasant. But if you handle them carefully, you can… learn about yourself, other people, and the world; grow; and become a better person.

Chapter 3: Handling Trauma
No matter what causes trauma…
There are several things you can do to help yourself feel better and learn from your experience.
Step 1: Face it. Figure out what caused the trauma and face up to it. Don’t try to pretend it didn’t happen.
When Cindy’s grandmother dies, Cindy had to face it.
Step 2: Accept it. Try to get used to the way things are.
Cindy had to accept her grandmother’s death.
Step 3: Figure out if anything you did caused the traumatic experience. Sometimes you do things which bring trauma; sometimes you do not.
Think about it.
Cindy had to figure out whether she made her grandmother die.
Step 4: Decide what you are going to do about the traumatic experience, and if there is anything you can do, do it. Sometimes you can do something to change things, sometimes you can’t.
Step 5: Do what you have decided to do.
Cindy had to decide what she would do about her grandmother’s death.
Step 6: Talk about your thoughts and feelings. You will have many feelings and thoughts. Don’t keep them inside you. Share them with someone else.
Cindy talked about her thoughts and feelings.
Keep talking about your thoughts and feelings for as long as you need to. Don’t think that talking about traumatic experiences one time will make everything okay. It might take you as long as six months, or even a year, to feel better and get your questions answered.
When you talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings, make sure…
You have time to talk and the other person has time to listen,
The person you talk to cares about you and might be able to help you, and
You tell the other person exactly how you feel and what you are thinking.

Following these steps can help you learn and grown, so that even though a traumatic experience is painful, good things can come from it.

Conclusion
Every person, no matter who he or she is, no matter how old he or she is, what he or she has, or where he or she lives, will go through traumatic experiences some time during his or her life.
A person might have a traumatic experience when he or she breaks a rule or does something dangerous.
Or a person might have a traumatic experience through no fault of his or her own.
Traumatic experiences are upsetting and hard to handle, but if they are handled carefully, they can help a person… learn a lot about himself or herself, other people, and the world; grow; and become a better person.
This is why…
The “tuff stuff” that happens to you is important and needs to be handled carefully.

Welcome to 1985

From top to bottom: My mom and I, my family in our first house, me being a ham, my dad and I, followed by my Grandma Pufpaff and I!!

SICK OF THOSE HIGH PAID TEACHERS?

I, for one, am sick and tired of those high paid teachers. Their
hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work nine or ten
months a year!

It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they
do....baby-sit!

We can get that for less than minimum wage. That's right. I would
give them $3.00 dollars an hour and only the hours they worked, not
any of that silly planning time. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45
AM to 4:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch). Each parent should pay
$19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children.

Now, how many do they teach in a day... maybe 30?

So that's 19.5 X 30 = $585.00 a day. But remember they only work
180 days a year! I'm not going to pay them for any vacations.

Let's see. . . that's $585 x 180 = $105,300

Hold on! My calculator must need batteries!

What about those special teachers or the ones with master's degrees?

Well, we could pay them minimum wage just to be fair. Round it off
to $7.00 an hour.

That would be $7 times 6-1/2 hours times 30 children times 180 days=
$245,700.00 per year.
Wait a minute, there is something wrong here!

There sure is, duh!

Make a teacher smile, send this to him or her!

Owed to a Spell Checker

I halve a spelling checker;
It came with my p.c.,
And it plainly marks four my review
Miss steaks I kin knot sea.
I strike a key and type a word
Then weight for it two say
Weather I yam wrong oar write—
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a miss steak is maid,
It nose before two long,
And I can put the error rite.
It’s rarely ever wrong.
I have run this poem threw it;
And I yam shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh,
My spell checker tolled me sew.
Anonymous

I need some perspective

I wanted to post this to get other people's perspectives on this situation.

In January of this year, DES/DDD decided on a way to cut the debt in their programs. When doing this, they decided to suspend certain programs, cut provider rates, cut personal and many more.

I am going to provide a few links about what has been going on:

News Link 1

News Link 2

I also attached a few documents, one of which is the letter sent to families who have children birth to three years of age who were receiving early intervention services.


Here is the link to the court ruling that happened on March 11,2009.


bill passed in January 2009



This has been particularly hard on me. I have been providing early intervention services for children birth to three for the past 2 years. I have seen these services work and have had the pleasure of discharging children who have grown and reached all their developmental milestones. I have also watched children become accepted into preschool to further their education before entering kindergarten. Even with this economy, if I lose my job I know I will find something out there. My biggest concern is for the children who are being left behind due to these cutbacks. I am just looking for other opinions on this matter, please be respectful to EVERYONE'S comments.

Update 3/12/09 Part 2

So, a court decided to overturn the DES cutbacks....

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2009/03/12/20090312politics-ddd0312.html

Update 3/12/09

I haven't really been feeling up to updating this lately, but I need to. As of Friday, March, 13th, children who are not ALTCS (Arizona Long Term Care Services) will no longer receive services under the age of 3. This means all children who are disabled and delayed between birth and three years are left out. For those who do not know, ALTCS is nearly impossible to get. There are four disabilities that are suppose to guarantee ALTCS approval, these disabilities are epilepsy, autism, cerebral palsy, and cognitive disabilities such as down syndrome and fragile-x etc. To show how hard it is to get ALTCS, I see 26 children a week, only 3 of them are ALTCS approved. Out of the other DSIs in the company I work for, there are only 4 more ALTCS children. Basically there are thousands of children out there that will not receive services, leaving them years behind and the states more costly "problem" once they reach school.

People have been talking about how Obama is going to focus on education. He does have a plan for children birth to 5, but it focuses on child care. There is little to no mention on getting children with disabilities and significant delays the help they need BEFORE they start school at the age of five. Children who do not get a chance to grow mentally and physically by the age of 3, will be years behind their peers. These children will need additional services once in school, which cost more than the services they could have received before entering school. For the state of Arizona, and a few other states, to take these services away completely baffles me. Out of all the services to be cut, they are taking it away from the age group that grows more mentally and physically in those first three years than in the remaining years of their life. Does no one care about QUALITY of life? If education is so important, why are people not giving these children a fighting chance?

So, basically that is what has been going on. The news channels have focused on child care being cut, never mentioning the impact these cutbacks have had on children with disabilities. People do not seem to care about these children. While the governor has been "finding" money to help with child care, there is NO mention of money for children with disabilities. So, I ask you this: how is this fare?

Tomorrow will be my last day with all but 6 children. Numerous families did not even receive the letter the state sent out. Many of these parents are left out in the cold, not knowing what is going to happen with their child. These children don't even know what they are missing, not realizing their quality of life is not important to others. For that, I am sickened. Not for losing my job, but for having to tell these parents what is going on. For having to explain that I will see their child if the state decides there is money for these services.

Hummingbirds

So, over the past 4 days I have seen hummingbirds. They have been flying in my line of sight and just staying there, looking at me as I look at them. Some may think I'm just being stupid, but today one landed on the hood of my car while I was parked bawling my eyes out over the children I work for. It landed on my hood with the most beautiful deep pink chest. It didn't hover, but sat on my hood perched atop my windshield whiper squarter.

So I did some research on what hummingbirds symbolize and this brought me to tears:
In Native American culture, a hummingbird symbolizes timless joy and the Nectar of Life. It's a symbol for accomplishing that which seems impossible and will teach you how to find the miracle of joyful living from your own life circumstances.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

DDD/AzEIP Cutbacks

Well, it is "official" that the state of Arizona is terminating all early intervention services. Which means, I am without a job in an economy that is already struggling to provide jobs for other US citizens.

I have been asked if I am upset about being unemployed. Don't get me wrong, I am, but my heart weeps and my eyes flood with tears for the children who deserve the best chance to thrive. Numerous studies show that human beings grow the most, mentally and physically, in the first three years of life. A child is born, small and helpless. By the time that child is three, they typically are walking, talking, running, jumping, using the potty, coloring, etc etc etc. That is what typically developing children accomplish in the first few years of life. Children who are delayed, do not reach these developmental milestones at the age appropriate times, on their own. Many families become overwhelmed with dealing with their child's special needs. If a child is given a chance, early on, they have a better chance at thriving later in life. People know education is crucial to a person's development, mentally, physically and socially. What some people do not realize is education starts at birth. A child grows more in the first three years of life than throughout a lifetime.

The services that are being cut are those services dedicated to helping these developmentally delayed children, between the ages of birth and three, reach as many milestones as possible before entering the school system. By eliminating these services these children will be tossed into the system at 5, when they may only be mentally at the age of 2 due to not receiving the help needed early on. These children will struggle throughout life, they will need to be "retaught" all they learned from the time they were born and the day they entered school. There is only so much a teacher can teach a student. Even these teachers in the school system are being terminated due to budget cuts. Special Education classes are being cut, when these children need more QUALIFIED teachers to help them become the best they can be. A few years ago, a law was passed entitled the No Child Left Behind Act. Within this act it states that students with disabilities/delays have a right to an education. This is a great act, but it does not guarantee children not of school age a chance to become a typical child. These children will be in fact, left behind. Without services EARLY on, there is a slim chance these children will be able to get the education they deserve. They will be helped while in the school, but without early intervention services, these children will not be where they should be when entering the school system. Meaning they will be even more mental years between them and other students their actual age. The rich will be able to provide services for their special needs children, while the working class will be stuck with no support for their child. Leaving their child even farther behind.

I am ashamed to be an American right now, and even more ashamed to be an Arizona Native. I cannot even believe the state would take away such a crucial services from children who don't even have a voice to express themselves. These children HAD a chance to become something, now they only have a chance to be stuck in the system and hope they come across a teacher who truly cares and will go above and beyond what is expected to ensure that student has the best chance in life.

To those teachers out there, stick with it. You are molding the teachers of tomorrow. Helping a student become the best they can be is the best gift you could ever give. Without good teachers, this world would be even sadder than it is now.

Earth Hour (Saturday, March 28th @ 8

Earth Hour 2009 -Sign Up for Earth Hour

Don't children deserve to have a teacher?

Some may know about all the budget cuts that are going on right now in terms of education. For those who do not know, the state of Arizona as well as many others across our beautiful nation, are cutting crucial jobs. Without teachers, GOOD teachers, where would this country be? Many people support Obama, some do not. Without [good] teachers, where do you think our current President would be? Where would any of us be. If it was not for teachers, I would not be able to read or write. Without teachers we would not have much. In the state of Arizona, special needs programs have been cut. Children are losing their services they so desperately need and are suppose to be entitled to according to the IDEA Act. Instead, these children are being denied assistance leaving them and their families to receive less educational assistance and in terms denying these children their right to an education.

Some people may ask why I am worried about this. I have only one true concern and that is this: how can the government deny a child the right to a proper education? With the cutbacks, over populated schools are losing teachers, meaning classrooms are going to be over sized which will lead to students being lost in the shuffle. The Department of Developmental Disabilities (DDD) cut hundreds of jobs over the past week meaning numerous of the children I work for no longer have a Support Coordinator. I received an email explaining to me that x amount of the families I work for do not have a support coordinator anymore due to cutbacks and they will try to place someone with them as soon as possible. DDD was already stretched too thin, and they wonder why that job has such a high turn around rate. I understand there needs to be cutbacks, but at what cost?

Taken from an online article:

Next year, state support for all-day kindergarten could be ended because some right-wing GOP lawmakers think it's a waste of money. K-12 funding statewide was cut $133 million in this round. The next hit probably will be even bigger. If your children are being taught in small classes, if their school has a library, a librarian, arts programs, counseling or other "extras," beware. If their school already lacks these, don't expect to see them added. In terms or our state's future, the only education and enrichment the Legislature seems to believe our children need is practice saying, "Would you like fries with that?

Yes, I am currently getting my Master's in Elementary Education/Special Education. I currently work for a company that is contracted through DDD. With all these cut backs, I may not have a job for much longer or may have a salary cutback which means my bills will not be paid. I am not worried about finding a teaching position, because I know I will teach when I am able to, and I will apply for jobs until someone realizes how dedicated I am to helping special needs children. Some have asked me why I am continuing my education with all the teaching cutbacks. My reason is simple; children need to be taught and I will teach them. I may not get the pay I am entitled to when I start, but it will be worth it to be able to help educate tomorrows leaders.

To the economy and legislators, please take the time to realize the importance of education. Without this you would not be where you are today. Don't your children, grandchildren etc. deserve the same chance?

School Update

Well, I will be "out of school" for two weeks, but I am hoping that is not the case. I am still waiting for my PRAXIS I Writing test scores. I missed the score by one point last time, so I had to retake it. I need that score to continue with my classes, and it has not arrived yet. This really puts a damper in my progress because I was already needing to double up on a few courses to make sure I start student teaching in January 2010.

It is a little nerve racking and I am starting to freak out, again. This better all work out for the amount of money I am paying.

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. ~Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981

As the years roll on and I continue to work with children with special needs, I get asked the following question more and more: "Do you even want to have kids after seeing what you have seen?" My response: "It makes me want to have a child today, tomorrow and the next day."

Lately that could not be farther from the truth. I guess you could say my biological clock is ticking, but for me it is easily said than done. As some of you may know, I cannot have children naturally. I have known this since I was 16. It really didn't set it until I met Brent. I was 19 when I met him and we fell in love. I was terrified to tell him about my "issue" and didn't want to scare him off. If I told him too soon, I feared he would run for thinking I was too serious in the relationship too early. If I waited to tell him late in the relationship would I upset him for waiting too long or would it again scare him away. Well, I told him early on, explaining to him that children are important to me and when the time is right, I want to do whatever it takes to have a child. Though he might have been scared, it all worked out. We have since had numerous conversations about this "issue" and agreed we would have children no matter what it takes.

About a year ago I went to a fertility doctor to talk about my choices, if there were any. It has been 9 years since I was told I could not have children, and I had never really asked why or what my options were. After talking to the doctor, it was concluded that with medication, I should be able to conceive. I was SHOCKED and excited! When we decide to start trying, I will start up on the medication. They will give us 3 month of trying and if I am not pregnant within in that time, they will up the dose for 3 more months. If at that time I am still not pregnant, we will talk about other options. This news was almost bitter sweet. For nine years I had my heart set on adoption a child or multiple children. I am not saying that we wont do that, but I want to try to experience the joys of having my own child. I still want to adopt, and if we do have our own, biological, child, we will then adopt when the time is right.

You might be wondering why I am writing about this now... Well last night I was at work and the younger sibling of the child I was working with was very ill. This child's mother was at the store while the father was bathing the other children. The sick child woke up screaming and just in so much pain with a fever of 103. I went into this child's room and the child reached up for me and said "Miss Kristen, hold me." My heart about broke in two!! I sat with this child throughout my hours in the home, rocking, rubbing the child's back and simply talking with the child. Some may have been irritated with the noise and not being able to do anything but comfort, and it brought me to tears, but not because I was sad. I was brought to tears because it made me realize, once more, how much I want children. I want to care for them when they are sick, when they are happy, when they are "bad" and everything in between. I cannot wait to experience this and I know Brent will be an awesome father. Whenever we are around children, they are so drawn to him. I know our future children will be the same way.

I cannot wait to expand our family. I know it will all happen in due time and when that time is appropriate!

Wildlife World Zoo & Aquarium visit

Well, we went to the zoo yesterday. It was awesome!! It was not as far as I thought and we got there just after it opened. It was a Friday, so there were a lot of schools visiting, which meant that there were a bunch of little kids running around. It normally would not have phased me, but the teachers had absolutely no control over their classes.

It was a little on the expensive side, but they had so many wonderful animals. They have 5 tigers, two of which are white. An old lion who is living his last few years there, he looks like he was on his death bed which was rather sad. Some of the animals were hiding in the back, so we didn't get to see them. But, for the most part, all the animals were out and close enough for us to see right away. My all time favorite animal is a giraffe. Well, they had a family of five there!!! They also had a feeding station that puts the Phoenix Zoo's feeding station to shame! I was able to get some of the pellets and feed the giraffes. I had to wait a while, because a large group of students had just fed them. The male walked over first and I stuck my hand out. I wanted to see if he would take it out of my hand or if I was going to have to pour it on his tongue like the other people were doing. Sure enough, out came his rather long purple/black tongue and he wrapped his hand around my arm, and slowly took the food! IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!! I had giraffe slobber all over me, but it was totally worth it!

The aquarium was not as cool as the rest of the zoo. It had just opened, so it will probably get better as time goes on. There were a lot of baby animals all over, but the cutest was the spider monkey! I will create a slide show of all the pictures and attach it soon!

If you can read this, thank a teacher!

Like the title? I saw that bumper sticker on a car in some commercial :)

As some know, I provide habilitation for an Autistic child as a part time job on top of early intervention. This child has two younger siblings who I work with as well, just to make sure they allow me to work with the oldest. Well, the middle child is always attached to my side when I am at their home. The other night, this child was asked by the mother "why do you like Miss Kristen?" To which this child said "I like Miss Kristen because she teaches me!" Well, that statement just melted my heart. Later that night this child was getting tired and was rather irritable with the mother. While I was working with the eldest sibling I hear "I want Miss Kristen to be my mom, she lets me grow up!!" My heart basically broke because I knew the mother's heart was breaking as well. On the plus side, this child realized how the statement made the mother feel and appologized shortly after. The mother came and talked to me, asking if I heard the statement. I did not know what to say about the situation. I really felt for the mother and wish the whole situation did not happen.

Sick

Why is it when you are sick, everything seems to go wrong? It just seems to add to the fact you feel like complete crap! Well, I haven't been feeling well for the past few days, Brent has been sick with the flu. So, of course I got it! This morning I work up, feeling completely horrible so I canceled my two appointments and went into the office to pick up my paycheck. When I arrived, the administrative assistance was there but the guy who does the payroll was not and my check was not in my mailbox. So, I waited, got some copying done and in come the payroll guy. He went straight to his office and shut the door. I waited a few minutes and then knocked on his door, asking him if the paychecks were done. He told me no and he hoped to have them done by 2pm. Well, that was just fantastic. I wanted to get my check so I could pay my bills and then go back to bed. Instead, I will be home and have to go back to the office because I will not be able to pick it up tomorrow. Which also means I will not get it till Monday, and Monday being a holiday, I would not get it till Tuesday. That may not seem like a big deal but I have ALL my bills due between the 15th and 17th of the month, so getting it late is no bueno!

So, I sit at home, trying to get some things done, wishing I could just lay down and pass out for the rest of the day and not have to go back out.... so much for that idea! BUT, I did get my PRAXIS I scheduled for next Saturday.... at 7:30 AM! Oh, well... gotta love school, which I truly do :)

VACATION!!!!!

Well, Brent and I took some time off. We will be on "vacation" from Thursday January 22nd through Monday January 26th. The 26th is our 6 year anniversary and I am excited! I have planned to cook Brent, yes me cook, a 3 course meal. I got a cook book a few Christmases ago and went through it finding the perfect dinner. I am thinking I will cook it for him on Sunday night, going into our 6th year. On the 23rd we are heading to the Wildlife World Zoo & Aquarium. The aquarium part just opened in December, and I am really excited to go. I think we are going to take his mom as well, depends if she is working that Friday or not. Then the following day, Saturday, we might go on a snow run with my parents in their Jeep. I think it will be a lot of fun, but I don't know if we will be awake enough to get over to their place early enough and not sure if we want to bundle up to survive. Brent is a wimp and so am I!!! I am just looking forward to having some time off of work. I wish I didn't have to worry about school, but that is what I get for going into my master's. I am doing all that week's work this week, so I can do as little as possible during our vacation!!!

Well, that is all for now!!

Troubled Student Story

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F ' at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... He is a joy to be around..'

His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.'

His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken..'

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, 'Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.'

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets..'

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors.. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.'

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, 'Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.'

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Doctor at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? tomorrow? just 'do it'.

Random acts of kindness, I think they call it!

9 more months....

Well, for those who know the wedding date, today is the 9 month mark till it happens. Which means I am starting to freak out a little. We have the date, the location and my dress... that is all. Oh, and my mom and I decided on the party favors, we will be making them ourselves. We still need the DJ, photographer, food, bar tender, bridesmaid dresses, Brent's attire as well as his grooms men, and um.... I am sure I am forgetting something... Basically, I need to get cracking. Time has been flying by and before I know it, it will be October 10th, and we will be celebrating our marriage! Kind of freaky, but in a good way :) LOL

Insurance Hell

Well, it seems that my migraines are back. Oh, joy! I haven't been stressed at all. In fact, I have been calmer than usual. Things have not been getting to me and I have been dealing with everything in life rather well, I think. It seems to be all in my sinuses and I am dreading going to the doctor, and here is why:

My insurance changed AGAIN, and I am not even sure what it covers anymore. It already sucked and I was paying $50 per doctors visit and between $35-65 for prescriptions. Now, I don't even know how much it is going to cost me to get my prescriptions filled. I need certain medications on a daily basis to remain healthy, and last time I had to fight to get them covered by my insurance. I really do not want to go through that again. Last time I went to see the ENT for my chronic sinus infections, he told me I needed surgery or my infections would continue due to having a deviated septum. Well, my old insurance looked at the surgery as cosmetic, meaning they would not cover it. Yes, I could fight it and get it paid for, but I just don't have the energy to deal with it. And paying $50+ for every visit, well, I can't afford that at all. I had a few tests done and I had to go back three times, meaning I paid $150 just to see the doctor and not included in any medications I needed.

So, I need to call my new insurance and get the card as well as more information on what they cover and do not cover. Brent will be getting insurance through his work come June, and once we are married I will get on his plan. He has awesome insurance so that will help, and it is cheaper than what I have now. I am paying $300 per month through my work, and it is taking a toll on me.

So, until this is all figured out, I will be taking 2-4 Advil Cold & Sinus pills every day, to hold off on being unconscious due to the pain in my head.

Poor Bruno

Well, Bruno has been aggressive the past week or so. Only towards the female dog upstairs, but still. So, we have come to the conclusion we will be getting him neutered within the next month or so. It is a little more than we can afford, but it is something that needs to be done. I refuse to have an aggressive dog, even if it is not towards everyone or everything. We are hoping he just needs this and will calm down, I mean, he has always been pretty hyper. This also means he will be getting all his shots that he needs to be up to date. I called a few places and it seems like it is going to be about $500. Oh, joy! When we are trying to save for when I student teach, we need to get this done. Oh well, that is how the world seems to work.

Life and Death

Brent and I just got back from seeing the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I did not realize going into it, that it is based off a book written by F. Scott Fitzgerald; the same writer as The Great Gatsby. I remember reading that book in high school and absolutely loving it.

For those who do not know what the movie is about, here is my short explanation: a person is born old and as he gets older, he gets younger in appearance. As time goes on he struggles with looking like an old man, but having the mind of a child and then grows younger and younger. (I wont spoil the movie for those who have not seen it, but just know it is worth seeing) Here is the original short story.

Well, as the movie went on, it showed just how important it is to live life to it's fullest. That no matter what the outcome may be, the most important thing is to make sure you are pleased with the decisions you made. That life is full of disappointments and death, but also pleasure and life. You watch those you love pass on but also get to enjoy the times before their passing. All I can do is hope that I live the life I want, and when the time comes for me to pass, I can be truly happy with the life I have given to myself.

Six Years!

WOW!

I cannot believe that on January 26th, 2009, Brent and I will have been together for SIX YEARS! It is amazing how he still gives me butterflies. How his simple touches make my heart race, how we are so incredibly goofy around each other, but truly know when to be serious. We have grown so much over these past six years, at times it was difficult, but in the end we were stronger as a couple due to the issues we faced and dealt with.

I think about where I was six years ago, and it is hard. It is hard to remember my life before him. You can take that as you want, but I feel like I have known him my entire life. That somewhere inside, we knew each other long before we actually met. Cheesy; possibly, true; for sure. I met him at the age of 18, started dating him at the age of 19. I was a sophomore in college and working full time. We made the weekends ours, either racing our cars (illegally) or drinking Jager. Yes, we have been drinking that FOREVER! So, screw you people who just started! I contribute my addiction to it, all to Brent!

Come May of this year, we will have lived together for 5 years. MoJo will be 5 in May as well, and Bruno 5 in December! It is so weird to think we have had them almost as long as we have been together! They have been our children and truly pains in our asses! But, what can you do! Gotta love our animals.

The years have come and gone. There have been some tremendous loses and gains. We have worked through certain things no couple should have to face. There were times when we wanted to give up, when we didn't feel like going on. Yet, we always pulled through, talking through our issues, crying through a few.

So *cheers* to the years to come and our wedding this October!